November 30, 2011
From Depression to Hope
Do you ever loose your joy and motivation? How do you get it back?
At times when my back pain is worse than usual I started wondering "Why me?" At this point depression slips in like a thief in the night robbing me of my hope, energy and joy. There doesn't seem to be any reason to get out of bed much less tackling the seemingly overwhelming tasks of daily living like getting dressed, cleaning and cooking; or doing things that previously brought me joy. That's where I have been for the last week or so, not a great place to be.
This morning when pain woke me at 4 a.m. I couldn't go back to sleep as negative thoughts were running rampant through my mind. It dawned on me that I haven't been writing in my gratitude journal and I have been focusing on all the things I can't do instead of the things I can. In the past I've found I can't be depressed and grateful at the same time. So as I start this day looking for things to be grateful for and counting my blessings, I can feel the dark, heavy and oppressing cloud of depression giving way to the gentle rays of light and hope of a new day dawning and the promise it holds.